One Year Anniversary

Hello all:

Well, Elder Chapman and I have reached our year mark. 6 days ago last year, we entered the Provo Missionary Training Center and began on this journey that seems to have passed in a the blink of an eye. To quote Jacob the Nephite prophet, "the time passed away with us, and also our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream" (Jacob 7:26). I've never seen time fly by so quickly as on a mission. There really is no experience that can quite compare with this "marvelous work and a wonder."

And boy are the days flying by now! With autumn setting in, the sun is starting to be much less willing to hang around and help us out. It sets probably around 8:00 PM now. That poses a problem because we're asked to be out working until 9:00. Back in summer when that hour was still dusk, this was no problem, but I've found that people judge time more by the sunlight than by their clocks. We can always expect some angry neighborhoods after sunset... "What do you mean you're sharing a message about Jesus Christ??? It's night time! Knocking doors, bugging neighbors, and Jesus Christ are not for the night time!! SLAM!"

In reality that's probably the most depressing thing. When we hit winter, the sun will start to disappear around 6, and we'll be facing angry parents for 3 solid hours each night. But as we go to tract our streets for the 4th time in 2 months (we have a really small area), although the majority of the people are just starting to get really irritated by us coming by every 2 weeks "in the middle of the night," we are still seeing small miracles; people are starting to know us by name, and even though they don't want to hear the Gospel, we're starting to become almost friends. Who knows what God will do with that? To those who are hostile towards us coming by after sunset, we can only respond to ourselves, "It's true isn't it-- Then what else matters?"

We may be annoying the palabrotas out of some people (and boy, do we hear about it sometimes), but we know that what we're doing is a good work, and that day or night, our message can bless the world. It doesn't matter what time it is, how light it is, or what they think, we know that what we're sharing is the most important news this world has ever heard. God speaks. He loves us. He had revealed additional Scripture. He has called a Prophet. He is coming (and soon-ish). He speaks to us individually. We can know His will. He loves us.

We as missionaries and as members are participating in the most important work in the universe, God Himself saying it is His work and His glory "to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man" (Moses 1:39). We, in a concentrated, backbreaking way, get to participate in that-- how great a trust and how great a blessing to provide such service to our Heavenly Father. Call us fanatics, call us idiots, call us freaks, call us brainwashed, and call us weirdos (heck, we'd be glad if someone would just call us, period), but we know what we;re sharing is true, and though earth and heaven pass away, it will not. "The truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly and independent," and we will do all we (legally) can to take that message to every creature under the sun... whether it has set or not!

I know that this Church is true. I know that Joseph Smith is a Prophet of God, and that God called him to do His work. I know that the Prophet today has called me to help for two years in that. I bear my witness of this to the world, and more especially to Colorado, and that, in the name Jesus Christ.

New Teaching Curriculum Announced

Hello all:

Hope everything is going OK. Got a few exciting tidbits to report:

My old companion who returned home for 9 months has come back to the mission field! We are all extremely excited to have him back (and I certainly do not begrudge him having left me to take over Willow Creek 2 weeks into it as a greenie and having no idea what's going on-- yeah, no resentment whatsoever☺).

President Maynes and the Assistants gave an awesome 2-day training to much of the mission all day Monday and Tuesday regarding the new "simplified curriculum" that is soon to be implemented in the MTC. It's designed to (hopefully) help us become better teachers. it involves the following 8 lessons:

1. The Doctrine of Christ (Faith, repentance, baptism, the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end)
2. The Role of the Holy Ghost in Conversion
3. Revelation through Prayer
4. Revelation through the Book of Mormon
5. Revelation through Church Attendance
6. Teach People, not Lessons (this is the main focus and purpose of the entire curriculum)
7. We Invite, They Commit, We Follow- Up
8. How to Begin Teaching
   

For me, it really was one of the best experiences of my mission. I learned so much and felt the Spirit teach me so well. It was kind of like a missionary's EFY. The plan is to cycle everyone through the training over the course of several months. If we implement this, it could be the most revolutionary help to our teaching since Preach My Gospel was introduced! I set goals and made resolutions to be a better missionary, or as the book of Moses called Enoch a "wild man" (Moses: 6:38)

Here's your spiritual though for the day:

I wish everyone to take time to look once more at Moroni's promise-- the litmus test of the Book of Mormon (Moroni 10:3-5). We've been working hard on helping investigators realize why they haven't yet received and answer to their prayers about the Book of Mormon. Almost without exception, the reason we don't receive answers when we want them is because we lack what Moroni calls "real intent." I liken it to asking your Dad for his credit card. Likely, a responsible father is at least going to ask what you intend to do with such a precious concession.

So it is with revelation. God is not going to give us an answer or a blessing until we make it clear to Him (and especially important, clear to ourselves) what we intend to do with what we would like Him to give/ tell us. When we have righteous intentions and a definite plan of action of how we will use that answer to our prayers, then He can trust us, and the gift is bestowed.

So with an answer to any prayer (especially regarding the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon), God doesn't want us to ask simply out of curiosity-- we must ask with the mindset that we will act upon the answer we receive. We must plan that if we receive a witness that the Book of Mormon is true, then we will be baptized. Once we are willing to pray with real intent, then the blessings will come an no sooner.

And here's your bit of missionary life for the day:

As missionaries in various wards, we usually greet members and investigators at the door, passing out programs and saying hello. With that comes the inevitable handshakes. What we have learned is that most women wear hand lotion. Some wear a LOT of lotion. And we shake a LOT of hands. Hence, here in the high altitudes of Colorado, we are well-moisturized every Sunday morning.

It's very tempting not to comment on people's lotion habits. "Hi Sis. Wilkinson! Here's a program. Oh, I see we're using Johnson & Johnson with Aloe this morning!... Ah, Sis. Anderson, I notice you've changed to generic brand! Is everything OK finance-wise?... Well, hello Sis. Wikenhoffer-- soaked your fingers in Crisco again today, huh?

Well, that's enough from me for this week. Enjoy the day, and spread the Gospel!

Browser Wars

Hello all:

Wow-- what a week it has been! I think the funniest thing is a lesson we had with an investigator about going to the source for correct information. He'd been checking out a lot of anti on the internet and not reading the Book of Mormon or even visiting mormon.org.

He's got a cool media setup and seemed to vibe with me, so I explained it the best way I know how. He's a Firefox user (a referral from a geek friend). I explained:

"Firefox is the fastest-growing browser in the market because it is great-- it revolutionized the ease-of-use, security, GUI, and compatibility of browsers. When Firefox started growing its market-share, Microsoft got very worried.

"Internet Explorer has been full of holes and errors hackers can easily exploit, sluggish, a huge memory hog, crashes easily and all-around a clunker. Firefox was fast, secure, had built-in pop-up blockers, easy-to-install add-ons, took up less memory, etc.

"Microsoft felt threatened by this new open-source alternative, and for good reason. Firefox 3 set the world record in 2009 for most downloads in 24 hours-- it's been growing in the market ever since.

At this point, I had him visit the Browser Comparison Chart, a ridiculous comparison of the different browsers on the Microsoft site.

"You see how in this chart by Microsoft shows that Internet Explorer seems to dominate over Firefox and even Chrome in every aspect from quality to speed? Yet you, as a Firefox user, know better. Everyone knows that the only real way to find out which browser is best is to download them, install them, and try them out individually. That way, you can get firsthand experience at which one really is best.

"Just as you wouldn't go to Ford to get reliable information on Toyota or another car company, you wouldn't want to search for reliable information on our Church from other churches and people.

"You will also notice that we do not come to your door handing out anti-Baptist, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, or other literature. Like Firefox, we are the fastest growing Church in the world because people learn for themselves what we have to offer and gain a testimony of the truthfulness of our message.

It was really fun to get nerdy with a gospel parable. It was well-received, too. I think it was what he needed to here.

Anyway, enough fun for week. Will have more news next week!

Knock-knock jokes

Hello all:

Got a few missionary knock-knock jokes for y'all:

1. Knock Knock... No soliciting! Oh, no we're not solicitors-- we're the missionaries!... Well, go missionary someone else!

2. Knock Knock... Who's there?... It's the missionaries!... I'm not interested... Interested in what, sir?... Interested in people knocking on my door.

3. Knock Knock...Knock Knock... (sh! Be quiet-- the Mormons are at the door!)... Ding-Dong!...(Are they still there?)... Hi! We can hear you... Oh well. Next house!


These are such fun jokes! We love telling them at every single door! Problem is, people seem to know them already. There's millions of variations of this joke, all with new, creative punchlines (excuses) such as:

* You're a cult.
* You're soliciting (time is money and you're asking for my time).
* I can't talk-- I haven't finished paying off the house
* Sorry-- I have a pet rat.
* My son already belongs to your cult.
* I talked to you guys last week (this means about 4 months ago)
* I left my children in the bathtub (we get this one all the time)
* I left my dog in the bathtub
* I left my child in the bathtub with my dog.
* I was just in the bathtub (it's always obvious when this is true)
* My religion is football
* I'm already Mormon (translation: "I was hoping Mitt Romney would get the Republican nomination")
* I don't believe in John Smith
* What Church are you from? We're from The Church of JESUS CHRIST sharing our testimonies about the SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST how JESUS CHRIST is the Son of God, and- I'm not interested; I'm Christian.
* I'm not interested-- my pastor told me you're a nudist colony sacrifice chickens and babies to your Martian devil gods.
* Come on in and let me tell you why you're a nudist colony sacrifice chickens and babies to your Martian devil gods.

Oh, it's fun-- maybe I'll pick up some more next week. Until then, have fun!